In Spring of 2005 my two best friends from college married each other in Belize. I booked a hotel room and a flight to be there. It was going to double as a honeymoon for James and I, since we hadn't had one right after our own wedding.
Shortly after making all of the arrangements, James got a promotion and was ordered to attend a school for that promotion. Congratulations, Elyssa and James, you'll get more monthly pay but you can't go on a long awaited trip with friends.
We were reimbursed for a portion of the money we paid and we received a voucher from the airlines for some of the airfare spent. We were never completely covered and we missed a milestone.
So, if you don't go to family and friends gatherings you protect yourself. You can make the financial excuse, tell others you can't get leave or just say it's not possible. If you make this decision, you distance yourselves from your loved ones, but you also protect yourself from emotional, financial and leave-time losses.
This is just option #1.
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Although I understand that not committing because you don't want to dissapoint others as well as build up your own hopes I think that when you say yes to visiting you strive to find a way to get it done, although you may fail its always better to do something then accept its failure before you try. I understand completly what you are saying. My problems stem from my fear of being broke and therefore i work every day I can,therefore I am never free or I don't have the money to travel. I used to do this to friends until it got to the point they would stop inviting me and I felt more alone. Its finding those friends who understand and sometimes, drive to visit me, or we meet halfway.
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