A Career on the Go

I am struggling with the budget. The family budget. The funny thing is that we have so much luxury, but I want more. I can't figure out if I'm being awful and selfish, or normal.

My cousin said she works so much because she's afraid to be broke. I'm not working because I want to stay home with my kids. That's not the whole story, though.

Part of my not working is that I'm being an elitist snob. I don't want to hand my kids over to be raised by someone else, so if I were going to work, it would have to be on my available time. I'm not willing to go down the street and work at McDonald's part-time or Wal-mart, so someone would have to practically drop a "career worthy" part-time job into my lap to get me out of the house.

I hope that writing can be a career for me, but actually earning anything is taking even longer than I thought. I thought I had earned enough to pay for Elaina's dance class by advertising on my blog, but Google has said that there were too many suspicious clicks and has denied me the use of their advertisers anymore. I have submitted myself to clinical trials, voluntary MRIs and medical studies to make some extra cash, but I thought I'd be able to buy new shoes with that cash. Now I'm going to be using it for dance and music and it doesn't even come close to covering gas.

I will take journalism classes in the future. I want to write. Writing is enjoyable and worthy, not to mention portable to travel with the military career of my husband. I'm just so scared that, in the effort to have it all the right way, I'm not using my own standards to measure my success anymore.